The ministry of Jesus Christ demonstrated only what was His responsibility. The Savior of mankind spoke His opinion without fear of someone’s upset, disapproval or rejection. He wasn’t driven to get someone to agree with Him. He didn’t wig out when someone disagreed with His comments. He recognized that someone’s upset was not His. He wasn’t compelled to please everyone. You didn’t find Jesus rescuing the financial, or fixing the relationship problems of His friends. Even with Christ as a role model, Christians seem to struggle or be confused with proper self-responsibility and they can be found doing and giving more for others than God intends. They can quote Scripture to supports self-sacrifice that often ends up in resentment, fatigue, and indifference. They fear it’s acting selfishly if they don’t say yes, and to relieve that false guilt and shame, they say yes, and do more. What a cycle that has no Biblical base for support. 

Of course, we are to love one another, but Scripture doesn’t tell us to do for others what they have a responsibility to do. What Jesus teaches isn’t about what we’re to do for others, it’s about how we’re to treat others (Matthew 25:40). Paul tells us that all believers are brothers and sisters (Galatians 3:28) and that we’re one family, not one being. The word for "help" means we’re to work together—cooperate, collaborate together as brothers and sisters—not take charge, fix everyone or jump in to rescue. Probably the most well known verse that people use to feed over-responsibility comes from Paul in Galatians 6, verse 2: "Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ." There you go! That’s crystal, isn’t it? That clearly says that we’re to carry the problems and struggles of others. Actually, it sounds like I’m to bear your burdens and you’re to bear mine. So then, my job is to carry your burdens—you’re problems and struggles, and your job is to carry all my problems and struggles. You become responsible for my feelings, and problems and I become responsible for yours. Wait a minute. That can’t be correct—Scripture says that each person is responsible for his or herself:

According to his own ability. (Matthew 25:15)

According to each one’s work. (1 Peter 1:7)

Let each one give as purposed in each heart. (2 Corinthians 9:7)

Each one has his own gift from God. (1 Corinthians 7:7)

Rules his own house. (1 Timothy 3:4)

Glorify God in your body. (1 Corinthians 6:20)

Each gives an account. (Romans 14:12)

Each should be fully convinced in his own mind. (Romans 14:5)

Let your yes be yes. (Matthew 5:37)

Plus, further in Galatians 6, verse 5 reads: "For each one shall bear his own load. We’re to bear one another’s burdens, and each shall bear his own load." What’s the truth? What does this mean? The Greek words for burden and load provide the answer. Here’s how Dr.’s Townsend and Cloud explain it in their text Boundaries:

We are responsible to others and for ourselves, "Carry each other’s burdens,"

to carry the load, and they need help. . . . to do for others what they cannot do for themselves is showing the sacrificial love of Christ. This is what Christ did for us.

He did what we could not do for ourselves, he saved us. This is being responsible

"to." On the other hand, verse 5 says that "each one should carry his own load." Everyone has responsibilities that only he or she can carry. These things are our

own particular "load" that we need to take daily responsibility for and work out.

No one can do certain things for us. We have to take ownership of certain aspects

of our life that are our own "load." The Greek word for burden means "excess

burdens," or burdens that are so heavy that they weigh us down. These burdens

are like boulders. . . . We need help with the boulders—those times of crisis and

tragedy in our lives. In contrast the Greek word for load means "cargo" or "the

burden of daily toil." This word describes the everyday things we all need to do.

These loads are like knapsacks. Knapsacks are possible to carry. We are

expected to carry our own. We are expected to deal with our own feelings,

attitudes, and behaviors, as well as the responsibilities God has given to each

one of us, even though it takes effort.

The law of Christ commands us to love one another. That means to treat others with kindness and pray for their good, not do for others what they need to do. Love one another, not become enmeshed with one another. To bear one another’s burdens, means in times of crisis we’re called as Christians to support and assist others during the disasters and tragedies of this fallen world. Scripture gives us clear lines of responsibility.

To recognize what your responsible for it’s necessary to have self-focus. When you take responsibility for your life, you no longer blame or make excuses, and you take ownership of your:

* Decisions/Choices t Problems t Character t Self-Honesty/Denial

* Virtues t Needs/Health t Feelings t Boundaries

* Motives t Behavior/Actions t Expressions t Disappointments

* Obligations t Maturity t Procrastination t Patience/Impatience

* Boredom/Fun t Anger/Self-control t Thoughts/Beliefs t Adjustments

* Coping t Conflicts t Risks t Mistakes

* Success t Losses t Fears/Trust t Expectations

* Attitude/Moods t Goals/Purpose t Treatment of others t Education

* Self-pity/Gratitude t Pride/Humility t Motivation t Sadness/Happiness

* Regrets t Role with kids t Promises t Apologies

* Speech t Healing t Limitations t Faith

* Commitments t Events/Situations t Past/Triggers t Talents/Skills

* Weaknesses/Flaws t Opinions/Preferences t Interests t Finances/Giving

* Occupation t Identity t Morals t Property

* Citizenship t Stewardship t Belongings t Integrity/Honor

That’s quite a bit to be responsible for, isn’t it? Here’s another excerpt from the book Boundaries written by Dr.’s Townsend and Cloud. The authors use a twist on the story of The Good Samaritan. Imagine how the story might read if the Samaritan lacked self-responsibility:

You know the story. A man traveling from Jerusalem to Jericho was mugged.

The Samaritan took responsibility for the treatment of others and sought care for the injured man who was robbed. He acted correctly because the man was in a helpless crisis and was unable to help himself. But then, the lines of responsibility got blurred. Notice how the robbed man, with a

lack of gratitude, places the responsibility for his care and recovery onto the Samaritan. He speaks dependently on the Samaritan for his well-being using guilt and pleas to manipulate the Samaritan’s continue support—financially and emotionally. The Samaritan concedes losing focus of his self-responsibility perhaps to avoid the man’s upset, disapproval, or poor opinion of him. When the Samaritan is informed of the outcome, he blames the robbed man for his own decision to stay and care for him.

Check the following statements that are true for you. A "sometimes" or "depends" is still a yes to the statement.

I lose my temper, stomp my feet, throw, slam, or kick things.

I always give the other person equal consideration as I give myself.

I criticize my partner, friends, or family member in the presence of other people.

I insist on having my own way and pout if I don’t get it.

I am a chronic worrier.

I put my trust in God and then just do my best.

I accept the ups and downs, and things that are inevitable, without getting upset or frustrated.

I have a positive conviction and believe completely that I can meet and solve my problems.